The Professor is coming home today. He has had all sorts of trouble finding flights that connect in the same airport, and without a real passport, he literally could not set foot outside an airport in another country. But the Sri Lankan ambassador just gave him a one-year passport, and he is able to change airports in London and board a flight for the U.S.

Of course, I won't be here when he arrives. I have to go to another city for the day, to do a trade show. The people who arranged the dive trip are meeting the Professor at the airport. I took his spare set of car keys to them last night, so he will be able to drive himself home. I will get home about 8:00 tonight, but have to leave by 6:00 tomorrow morning to catch a flight for Oklahoma City. I won't be home from there until late Friday afternoon. But I'm hoping to have time for a conversation with him this weekend!

The message began "Everyone's okay". You know right then that something really bad happened. And it did. The dive ship that the Professor was on had an explosion in the engine room, caught fire, and sank. He got out with his pants, shirt, and wallet. No passport. No shoes. I only hope he had his contacts in.

Apparently the American ambassador gave them all a letter saying they are citizens so they can get home. The Professor bought himself a new pair of shoes, and is trying to find a flight out. When he gets here, he will not even have the keys to his car. I have commitments next week that I can't get out of, short of someone's death, so depending on when he can get a flight, I may or may not be able to pick him up at the airport.

Now you know everything I know. Did they abandon ship into life rafts, or were they treading shark-infested water? Were they awake when the explosion happened, or did it wake them up? We've all seen enough ocean disaster movies to imagine several different scenarios. My guess is that they were all sitting around on the deck, having a drink and talking, when the explosion happened. That would put the Professor in his pants, with his wallet in his back pocket. He is very good in emergencies, and I cannot imagine him being awakened by an explosion and taking the time to pull on his pants, but leave his passport behind. But I guess all my questions will be answered, hopefully sooner rather than later.

UPDATE: They were up in the main lounge, having a drink, when the lights went out and somebody yelled "Fire!" They got into the dive boat, backed off and watched it smoulder for a couple of hours. Two fireboats could not put it out. Suddenly the whole thing caught fire and burned to the waterline. The Professor had cleverly put his passport and most of his money in a drawer for safekeeping, then couldn't get to it. He has so far bought a pair of shoes and two shirts, but no underwear (eeeeeeew!) -- something about it being a Muslim country that I couldn't quite follow. His problem with getting home is that he cannot leave an airport until he gets back to the States, which limits his options, and there is all kinds of red tape. So he is being put up in luxury hotels, eating and drinking for free, while he waits.

Women of the Samburu, Kenya, Africa.

This time I'm off to a company meeting in Reno. I would rather have a root canal than go to this. I would rather scrub toilets with my toothbrush. I would rather ... well, you get the idea.

The meeting is incredibly boring. Very little of it pertains to anything I do. I work way too hard for my money to hand it over to the Mafia -- excuse me, I think the proper term for that is "gambling". I know some people think the atmosphere is great, but when I have to walk through the casino (and you know the hotel is laid out so you can't miss it) and I hear all that ding-ding-ding and see the flashing lights, I feel like I am trapped inside a video game.

But most of all, it is an absolute nightmare trying to fit every liquid and gel I need into a quart bag. I have tiny bottles, but at my age you need a lot of them! The worst is deodorant. Last night I chose a new deodorant based strictly on the fact that it was the smallest bottle available.

Once I get the liquids crammed into the quart bag, I have to figure out how to stuff my purse into my computer bag so I can get through security with one bag and one personal item. The funny thing is that you can take your purse out as soon as you get through the security gate. The airline could care less if you have a suitcase AND a computer bag AND a purse.

Why do I put myself through all this? Why not just check the bag? Because when I went to Baltimore in December, my luggage went to Las Vegas. I just don't trust them to get my bag to the right place, with everything still in it, and without any new rips or gouges. I used to love to travel, but with all the crap they put us through nowadays, I absolutely hate getting on a plane.

Well, aren't I cheerful! And I guess I've wasted as much time as I dare and maybe I've managed to run myself late enough to miss the plane. You can tell, I REALLY don't want to go to this!

Here are some actual quotes from executives:

1. "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." -- marketing exec. at Citrix Corp.

2. "What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter." -- Lykes Lines Shipping manager

3. "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." -- UPS marketing manager

4. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." -- R & D manager, 3M

5. "We know communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with employees." -- AT&T

6. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken Wednesday, and employees should receive their cards within two weeks." -- Microsoft, Richmond WA

7. "We can't afford to pay a high school student to come in and file, and we can't afford to pay you overtime to file. Just file during business hours, and do your other work on overtime." -- a former boss of mine

How about you? Have you heard some classics fall from the lips of management?

We had two days of sun, but of course the day we remembered to take the camera, it was snowing and foggy. The snow was great, and we were getting down the mountain to the lift in about half the time it took to ride it back up. I guess that's not bad for a couple of old fogies -- I called us the Senior Mutant Ninja Skiiers. These pictures are from the Bull Run trail off the Elk Camp Lift at Snowmass CO. I love this run so much that I want some of my ashes scattered here after I die. It's a long, gentle slope through the trees, with some wide areas so you can always find fresh powder to make tracks in. I DON'T do moguls, and I have never felt the urge to ski a double diamond black trail; I just like skiing along fast enough to be exhilarated, but slow enough to enjoy the scenery. It was a great trip.

I hope you enjoy the pretty picture while I am enjoying the slopes.

When I was a child, my family lived on Long Island and made frequent trips into New York City. I always wanted to sit on the lions outside the library, but my mother Would. Not. Allow. It. So last year when the Professor and I found ourselves in front of the NYC library, I decided to fulfill this lifelong dream. I asked the Prof to take my picture so I could show my mother the extent of my rebellion. While I was posing, some strange kid jumped up on the statue and stayed so long, I never did get to get sit on it. He probably saved me some embarrassment, since I suspect that the contortions I would have used to get all the way up on the statue would not have been a pretty sight.

I seem to have shocked, horrified, or offended a lot of people with my Saturday Photo Hunt picture of a wildebeete's remains. The theme was "gross", and although my definition of gross is more on the order of bodily fluids -- vomit, blood, snot, etc. -- I figured others might find a dead animal gross. And did they ever! So in the interests if replacing that picture with another one, here is my over-achieving Sago palm. The most fascinating thing about it is that every other year it puts out different seed pods. Obviously this picture is from its male stage. Alternate years it has a round, female, seed pod. Why it bothers, I don't know, because baby palms grow from the roots, and there is no evidence that the seeds ever do anything at all. But it does make an impressive display, doesn't it!

All that's left of a wildebeeste after the lions, hyenas and vultures get through with him.

Happy birthday Stormii!